Title: Tales
of Brave Ulysses.
Point of view: Giles.
Time frame: At
the end of Episode 14 “Hotel California”.
She really is a remarkable woman.
In the old Watcher’s Council hierarchy she would never have risen much beyond Field Watcher. The glass ceiling was firmly in place. Modern legislation on equal opportunities
never made much impact on an organisation that dates back millennia. Everything changed when the bomb went off, of
course. That may prove to have been
quite a spectacular own goal by the First.
She’s only the de facto Head of the Watchers’ Council, it’s
true. It is possible someone else might
replace her as the official head – Kumar, or Robson, perhaps, both of whom have
seniority over her – but I doubt it. She
was in the right place at the right time, she picked up the ball and ran with
it, and she’s done so well I can’t see anyone mounting a serious
challenge. Especially
considering she has four Slayers backing her.
Possibly five.
Or six, or seven if she is successful in retrieving
Kat from the Pittsburgh Hellmouth. Salaries for Slayers is
a powerful incentive to loyalty. I know
that is not the reason for her action.
It is quite obvious that she has instituted, or rather re-instituted, payment
for Slayers simply because it is the Right Thing To
Do. Jocasta radiates integrity; unlike
some members of the Council in the past.
I can’t believe that she is the first in two hundred years to discover
that Slayers were paid in the past; she’s just the first actually to do
something about it. Something
constructive, that is. I have no doubt
that there will have been past senior Watchers who took advantage of the
Slayers’ salary fund for their own purposes.
Not Jocasta. At last
the Council has a head who recognises that the
Watchers are a support service for the Slayer – Slayers, these days. Too many of the old Council treated the
Slayers as consumables. Expendable property.
Lose one, and there’ll be another one along in a minute. No longer a viable strategy, now the First is
systematically setting out to eliminate Slayers altogether. And Watchers.
I’m marked for death too.
I’ve lost friends. Many of the
Council were annoying tossers, as Spike would say, or
indeed as I would have said myself in my Ripper days, but quite a few were good
and loyal friends. When I have the time
to think about it, it hurts. Which may be one reason why I have been making some bad decisions
lately.
I have had so much to do.
There haven’t been enough hours in the day to cram in everything that
I’ve needed to do, everywhere that I’ve needed to go, every plan I’ve had to
make. Only now, with Jocasta’s visit,
have I been able to relax for a while, knowing that someone else has the
responsibility, and reflect on what I have achieved. Only now have I realised that I have made
serious errors. Errors
in dealing with Buffy, and in dealing with Spike.
Oh, sod it. I didn’t
make “errors”, I fucked up. I behaved
appallingly in the way I went behind Buffy’s back, and I treated Spike
abominably.
All I can say in my own defence is that I was tired, and
hurting, and seemed to have a permanent headache. When Spike was not sufficiently cooperative
with my plan to rid him of the First’s trigger, my frustration became too much. I went along with Robin’s plan, even though I
knew he had his own agenda, rather than wait a day or so and then try
again. I see now that it was quite
understandable that Spike should be unwilling to probe into an emotional trauma
in front of such a large audience. I
should have cleared everyone out apart from myself,
At least it worked out in the end, but that was by sheer
luck. I placed far too much trust in
Robin Wood. He could have been an agent
of the First. We didn’t know that his
own account of himself was true until he put the ring on his finger. I could have been responsible for the death
of one of the warriors of the prophecy, perhaps leading to our ultimate defeat,
and it would mainly have been due to impatience. I have greatly strained my relationship with
Buffy, and all for no real reason. She
has forgiven me, it seems, and that is more than I deserve.
I must say I was rather impressed by Spike’s actions when he
and Robin reached some kind of understanding.
And he seems to have forgiven me, too.
A vampire teaching me forgiveness. Strange, but true.
I apologised when I said goodbye at the airport. I reminded him that I had once speculated
that there was some higher purpose behind his being implanted with the chip,
and that it seemed that I had been proved right now that he was a member of a
mystical fellowship.
“Maybe you’re right after all, Dad”, he agreed, harking back
to the time when we believed ourselves to be father and son whilst under the
influence of an amnesia spell.
“Spike – or should I say Randy?” I replied. “Do you remember that I told you then that
you inspired a feeling of familiarity and disappointment? You have behaved rather well lately, and I
must tell you that I no longer feel disappointed in you.”
“Thanks, Dad,” he told me.
He shook my hand, and admitted, “Actually, that means a lot to me.”
I grinned at him. “Thanks, son. Take
good care of Dawn – and yourself. If you
don’t come back, who will I talk about football with? I’ll be stuck here among people who think
that football is a game of rugby played in fifty pounds of armour with advert
breaks every five minutes.”
“Cricket season coming up, too,” he responded. “Bloody Yanks have even less of a clue about
that. You take care of yourself as well,
Watcher.”
Buffy gave him a hug when she said goodbye. As she did to Dawn, and –
much to my surprise – to Teresa.
And to me, when we got back to the
house, which was at least as much of a surprise.
“I take it you forgive me then, Buffy?” I asked.
“Forgiven,” she assured me.
“You were wrong, but I know you meant well, and if Spike’s forgiven you
I’m not going to be all vengeance Buffy.
Love.
Give. Forgive. Big hugs all round. We’re not going to defeat the First Evil by
holding grudges against each other.” She
went and gave Faith a big hug too, which made Faith cry.
Anya gave Xander a big forgiving hug too, which was remarkable. Then she came and gave me a hug. Extremely pleasant, but
also upsetting in a way. I had
spent altogether too much time thinking about physical contact with Anya since
the amnesia spell made us wrongly deduce that we were engaged. And brought home to me that
my feelings for Anya were much stronger than those of one business partner for
another.
“And to what do I owe this?” I asked her. “For what do we have to forgive each other?”
“I forgive you for going away and leaving me,” she
responded. “But only because you came
back.”
I was extremely tempted to prolong the hug, and indeed to
shower her with hot passionate kisses.
Had it not been for the presence of Xander I might even have risked
showering her with at least one kiss. As
it was, I released her. She moved away
only slowly. I remembered the way she
had distanced herself from her ex-fiancé when Ampata
had reappeared, and wondered whether I might actually have some kind of chance
with Anya. I might be much older than
her, at least physically, but at least I would never be such a great steaming
idiot as to leave her at the altar. Unlikely that I would get the chance, but at least I could dream.
She really is a remarkable woman.
FIN